I wrote you many letters, ok I only wrote one, ok I tried to write one, ok I scribbled and wrote words arranged in a way that didnt make sense. Still, I wanted to tell you so much but nothing came out right. wanted to tell you the real stuff, things that mattered. I just couldn’t do it, it felt like I was bringing out so much. stuff that I wasn’t sure I wanted you to know. it started to get so dark, struggles from within were trying to get their way out. and I couldnt let that happen. I didnt want you to think less of me, you were always so supportive. I remember how bad you wanted to become something. You wanted me to join in and be more than what we ought to. I guess thats where it stopped for me. I guess I got scared cause I knew I couldnt do it, or like I knew I couldnt handle it. Pressure, too much pressure makes me want to puke. It makes me run away, and so I did. i’m sorry, it wasn’t you, I meant to write you, I swear, I just couldn’t do it..not to you.